How to Not be That Guy

So I got the iphone and the biggest challenge is making the phone less conceited. Here are my 3 sure fire ways of seeming less like a douche bag.

 

1. Make it so it doesn’t automatically capitalize. 

I like good grammar in my texts (not well grammar). And that’s not pretentious at all, but when you end up with perfect capitalization as well, it’s a little excessive. For example saying: “yeah, i just got out of my meeting. meet there in five?” doesn’t seem pompous, but when you capitalize properly it does. ” Yeah, I just got out of my meeting. Meet there in five?”

It’s just too proper, and your friends will start thinking you are too proper to meet them in five. Go to Settings > General > Keyboard > Auto-Capitalization (OFF).

 

2. Make your signature not “Sent from the iPhone.” 

It’s embarrassing enough to be seen with a country killer, so telling people over the internet is just tacky. Instead of having it say, “Sent from the iPhone” you can say, ” sent from my arthritic hands to yours” or ,”sent from (none of your business).”

Okay, but how do I fix it? Go to Settings > Mail, Contacts, Calendars > Signature > type in something funny.

 

3. Shoot it with a handgun.

Just be like the artist Michael Tombert and shoot through your iphone. Another possible option is getting this case.

 

Anyway. Hope that helps you navigate the world of having an iphone and not being an asshole about it.

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