Category Archives: humor

An Analysis of Pop Songs: “Marry You”

I have taken a long break from listening to radio pop songs, but I recently have been spending a lot of time on 8tracks which means silly radio pop songs always seep in. I know these songs aren’t created for analysis, but a lot of the time I can’t stop myself. So here it is the flaws of Bruno Mars’ Marry You.

I understand the concept of marriage. I am not sure it’s for me, but I get it. You get married when you love some one and are committed to the concept of being with that person until you die (or they die).

From that definition you can see I am not necessarily a romantic, but even I was taken back by the first stanza. “It’s a beautiful night, We’re looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.”

This guy’s intro to his proposal is, “I’m looking for something dumb to do.” There are plenty of other dumb things he could do instead: lock his keys in the car, call his boss while on the toilet, facebook stalk his ex, drink beer before liquor, quote family guy in dinner conversation.

“Is it the look in your eyes, Or is it this dancing juice?” At this point we find out he is either drunk our got an exclusive tasting of a new Welch’s juice that will be out in the next month or so:

I think Bruno is having a disconnect where he doesn’t realize what marriage means. “If we wake up and you wanna break up that’s cool. No, I won’t blame you; It was fun girl.” Once you are married you don’t “break up”. There are papers… probably a lot of them. And if I were to be served annulment papers the day after my wedding, I can only imagine the words out of my mouth would be, “It’s cool. I don’t blame you. It was fun.

Maybe Bruno Mars is really in love and he is just bad at timing. He was planning on doing a romantic dinner and popping the question, but he got nervous and then got drunk and now is suggesting elopement. No matter what his reasoning, I think my answer to Bruno Mars’ proposal is “nah.. I’m alright. You seem really nice, but perhaps you should switch to water for the rest of the night.”

1 Comment

Filed under humor, music

Look it’s a movie.. I made!

So the last month has been total hell. Apparently doing one thousand things and heading towards the end of a semester is dreadful.

One of the things that filled my time, at least for a week, was Campus Movie Fest. Campus Movie Fest is a film festival that comes to colleges all over the United States and supplies students with everything they need to make a five minute movie in exactly a week. I have participated every year so far, which is super fun… and stressful. This year I made a comedy about a bland relationship… here it is:

Last year I made Washed Up a movie about a sad lonely guy who finds a dead mermaid and then the year before that I made The Man Who Hears Cell Phones, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like.

Goodness, I am finding this post to be super self promotional. I leave this blog stagnant for a month and then come back knowing it will take me back and touting all the things I have done in my absence.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who helped in making John and Jane: A Love Story happen. You’re all great.

2 Comments

Filed under conversation, humor, video

Snow White.. more like Snow W-really Popular This Summer

How many Snow White movies does it take for me to be interested in Snow White? Hollywood hopes it’s two.

This one is Snow White and the Huntsman… it’s dramatic and scary. See…

Reasons to watch it:

1. The intro music in the beginning tells me it’s going to be a serious movie… with a lot of bass.

2.  Swimming in milk.  (No longer does Britney Spears monopolize the whole weird dairy thing.)

3. Kristin Stewart is the “fairest in the land”.  And they aren’t using fair, in the archaic way.. she’s just really honest and unbiased. She kind of wants to be a Supreme Court Justice when she grows up.

4. The mirror isn’t actually a mirror, it’s Charlize Theron’s iphone. “Siri, find me someone who doesn’t fear the dark forest” “I have found a number of huntsman in your area… one of them is fairly close to you.”

 

Then there is Mirror, Mirror. It has Julia Roberts and Julia Roberts. See…

Reasons to watch it:

1. Julia Roberts

2. Julia Roberts

3. The jokes are okay.

4. Julia Roberts.

5. That castle seems really nice.

1 Comment

Filed under humor, movies

Downton Abbey + Puzzles

What have I been up to this weekend? Naturally something remarkable and world changing…

I finished that puzzle and watched the whole first season of Downton Abbey. I like the show because I relate to them: I also enjoy tea and breakfast.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under humor

It’s Type-ography

So I have been in a typography class for a full month and only now am I not ashamed by my letter drawing. So I am sharing it. Before you judge keep in mind these are drawn completely free hand. We can’t even use rulers when drawing the background boxes.

did you know American Eagle is hiring me to draw their logo letters?

damn.. nice B

"c"ool

Now to give you an idea of what sans serifs look like.. it’s this:

sans serifs hand drawn typography

bad.. that's what it looks like

Wondering how I made such an “amazing” circle?

Answer:

1 Comment

Filed under design, humor

Not Sure if You’ve Heard

Apple is sneak peeking their new operating system, OS X Mountain Goat.

It’s kind of a big deal.

Leave a comment

Filed under humor, Technology

My Valentine’s Day Cards

Some vulgar valentine’s I made. There are fronts and backs to these cards too, but I failed to photograph them. Oops.

2 Comments

Filed under design, humor

Happy Valentine’s Day to People Who Like Valentine’s Day!

Well it is pretty close to V-day which means you all deserve a Valentine’s Day themed post. So here is a VD list for you:

1. I got Valentines candy. What does that mean? Reese’s that are shaped like hearts and Hershey Kisses that are filled with cherry sugar gel.

this is them meeting for the very first time

2. Remember how much more creative I was last valentine’s day? I made this book that says a poem:

this is supposed to be a gif, but you have to click on it so it will gif.

3. And I made those Valentine’s Day cards. I want to make them again and I have plenty of naughty things to have animals say, but there is no time to make them/ only time to talk about Valentine’s Day a lot on my blog.

4. I did make  one new Valentine’s Day card yesterday, but there is only one and the recipient is probably going to be my cards-line/ not a real person.

5. Sometimes I think, “Woah, not enough hot male actors tell me they love me on a daily basis.” Well if you think that too, then don’t worry cause that is all about to change.

To see the magic you are going to have to click on this link, because sometimes the internet is an evil place where embedding is impossible.

6. In an effort to waste time unintentionally, I made an 8tracks album for Kwanza (not really, it’s for valentine’s day… not sure if you’ve ever heard of it).

http://8tracks.com/mixes/584390/player_v3

It’s like love.. or something. from kudosaru on 8tracks.

7. Now let’s count how many times I just wrote the word valentine (<that counts). 11! Yay, for days about hearts!

Leave a comment

Filed under humor, list

The Worst Zone to Watch Sports

the farty zone

So for your next farty party you can get an inflatable and funny cooler for your drinks.

Leave a comment

Filed under humor, photo

How to Not be That Guy

So I got the iphone and the biggest challenge is making the phone less conceited. Here are my 3 sure fire ways of seeming less like a douche bag.

 

1. Make it so it doesn’t automatically capitalize. 

I like good grammar in my texts (not well grammar). And that’s not pretentious at all, but when you end up with perfect capitalization as well, it’s a little excessive. For example saying: “yeah, i just got out of my meeting. meet there in five?” doesn’t seem pompous, but when you capitalize properly it does. ” Yeah, I just got out of my meeting. Meet there in five?”

It’s just too proper, and your friends will start thinking you are too proper to meet them in five. Go to Settings > General > Keyboard > Auto-Capitalization (OFF).

 

2. Make your signature not “Sent from the iPhone.” 

It’s embarrassing enough to be seen with a country killer, so telling people over the internet is just tacky. Instead of having it say, “Sent from the iPhone” you can say, ” sent from my arthritic hands to yours” or ,”sent from (none of your business).”

Okay, but how do I fix it? Go to Settings > Mail, Contacts, Calendars > Signature > type in something funny.

 

3. Shoot it with a handgun.

Just be like the artist Michael Tombert and shoot through your iphone. Another possible option is getting this case.

 

Anyway. Hope that helps you navigate the world of having an iphone and not being an asshole about it.

Leave a comment

Filed under humor, link, Technology