5 Life Lessons I’ve Learned from Vampires and Werewolves

Did you know nearly every confession in the history of the world has started with the statement, “I was on Netflix and…” Well, here mine goes: I was on Netflix and I’ve started watching The Vampire Diaries. That’s really only half the confession. The other half is I’ve been watching Teen Wolf since it came out last summer.

But it’s not my fault. They just know the formula too well:

Drama + Attractive People + Dangerous Mutations = Kendra’s Dream TV

Well, here are the five life lessons (they are mostly dating tips, but still) that I’ve learned from Teen Wolf and the Vampire Diaries:

1. Your boyfriend is probably a stalker if… a) he finds out where you live. b) he sits outside your window while you sleep for “protection.” c) he knew that you were adopted, before you knew that you were adopted.

2. Before you move into a new town check how many people work for animal control. If they offer 24 hour service you should NOT move there.

3. If you think you have met the love of your life and it turns out they are supernatural, leave them. You haven’t been to college yet. Once you take a few classes in women’s studies you will understand that maybe he is controlling and the fact that he could eat you is feeding into larger issues not just in your relationship, but in the overall pattern of a patriarchal society.

4. Don’t run into situations like you’re special. You aren’t. Maybe instead you should stay at home with a good book and a cup of tea and do what humans do best: avoid issues, be lazy, and forget about the people you’ve fucked over.

5. Silent and brooding can be sexy, but it also might be a trap. Sometimes when people are quiet it means they’re shy, but still have important things to say. And sometimes it means they’re stupid.

With these life lessons under my belt I’m considering making my own tv show about a Faun who has to keep his goat feet a secret from everyone, including the love of his life. (She’ll never go to prom with him if she knows about his heavy hooves!)


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Things I Would Never Recommend

Puzzles are great, but puzzles on the floor lead to hurried scoliosis. I regret the whole thing.

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The First Day of My Life: A Deep Sad Look

So I was planning on making a joke on here. Something along the lines of “My mom just bought Badminton rackets and this song played in my head when I saw them.”

..but then I rewatched the video and I brought it to a much darker place.

I have a feeling that very few of those couples are still together. And I bet during their break ups them being in that video made the whole thing a lot harder. One member of each of those couples is still watching that video over and over again with a pint of chunky monkey, while the other is always trying to convince their new partner that the video meant nothing to them. But who knows maybe some of those couples are still trotting along.

I really would love for this to be researched further. So internet, if you know someone in that video… tell me their relationship status cause I am feeling pretty confident about this.

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Laura Stevenson and the Cans on Awkward

So merely moments ago I was watching the newest episode of Awkward which is an MTV show I watch every week and am somewhat embarrassed about, but I don’t stop because ehhh. Anyway, while I was watching I heard the fantastic Laura Stevenson and the Cans‘ song, The Healthy One.

Really this post is just to say congrats to Laura Stevenson and the Cans. So, “Congrats, Laura Stevenson and the Cans!”

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Books on Buses.. of the underground variety

I have been totally mesmerized by the photos of Ourit Ben-Haim. Her photo series Underground New York Public Library shows New Yorkers on the subway reading. Here are a few of my favorite photos:

Just My Type” by Simon Garfield

Doctor Zhivago” by Boris Pasternak

The Birth of Tragedy” by Friedrich Nietzsche

New York by Edward” Rutherfurd

Also, check out this interview with Ourit.

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An Unnecessary Bedroom Explication

I recently rearranged my room for summer, which means bed by the windows or else I’ll die of heat stroke. Because of the switcheroo this has become the super cool corner of the room (take that dresser section).

The letters spelling ‘hate’ is my personal favorite. My mom made the letters from metal, wood, and sticks for an art installation a few years ago. She had them spelling out a Wordsworth quote, but was kind enough to give them to my acrostic ‘hate’ wall. Every time I see it I can’t help smiling at the ridiculousness.

I got that chair last summer at a yard sale. Fun thing that chair taught me: you don’t need to be in a car for your butt to stick to leather. The cool barrel lamp thing was made by grandfather. He was a welder and made it out of a barrel and cast iron cobbler shoe molds, which is the coolest part and I am covering in this photo for no good reason except that I didn’t know where to put that handkerchief when I was cleaning my room.

On the lamp/barrel is a wooden ball and cup game, which my grandmother gave me a few Christmases ago saying, “I entered the toy store and it just happened.” Sixteenth century Mexico knew what was up, this game is perfect.

So yup, that’s an overly described corner of my bedroom.

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Clutch Clutches by Kerry

I recently ordered two things from my friend Kerry’s etsy shop. One of them is a present for a friend who might check this blog before I can give it to her, so I can’t show it on here… yet. But the other is for me, so I can show it off all I want. Here it is:

Isn’t it adorable! It got here super fast and is the perfect size for all my clutching needs. Thanks Kerry! (Her blog, The Tragic Whale, is hilarious)

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A Weekend in a Valley

I spent this weekend visiting my friend Katrina in Amherst. It was super fun… and as hot as the complete opposite of freezing. We ate more ice pops than any human has a right to. Here are a few photos from the weekend:

Someone’s in the kitchen with dumplings.

A vintage carrying case that I got at the Brimfield Antique Show. I am planning on turning this into a crafting case (photos may follow if all goes well). I also got shorts and a dress and Katrina found some good looking opera glasses.

Katrina took this picture of eggplants while we were at the Farmer’s Market on Saturday. As you can see the eggplants are sort of breaking a sweat, as was I.

After I turned into a total heat zombie we went to Puffer’s Pond, which I believe saved my life.

A couple more notes on the weekend: Honey butter is what the gods put on their crescent rolls. Bring a water bottle everywhere, cause you could die without it. That’s what I call a weekend.

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Good News, Everyone! My Trip to Berlin!

I am back. And this is an honest, “I’m back” not an absent father’s “I’m here right now, so enjoy it cause you might not see me for three months.”

Well I know I never ended up posting my photos from Berlin, so sorry for the cliffhanger (remember that neopets game cliffhanger?) Here they are with bonus commentary because these are more than a month overdue:

A beautiful canal with restaurants that double as clubs on the side.

Gorlitzer Park, which was right near the amazing hostel I stayed at, JetPak Berlin.

A pretty canal near Berlin Cathedral.

Bode Museum, which was joked to be the Boredom Museum. They apparently have a very extensive coin collection. Before I went I had seen this beautiful photo on pinterest of it.

This is just a playground, but they made it super cool by just adding paint and immense amounts of talent.

Ada and I spent a lot of time rocking the Flea Markets. We got these delicious tarts at one and then sat on a river and ate them.

We were in search of a beach and saw a ferry running, so we hopped on. We ended up on Pfaueninsel, translating to Peacock Island. We saw a lot of peacocks, but sadly didn’t find a beach there. Also, turns out I am sort terrified of gigantic colorful birds. Now we know.

This is the beach we ended up at. This was the only day of my two weeks in Berlin that it was remotely cloudy.

This is 4am in Berlin, with some nice street art in view.

One of my favorite panels of the East Side Gallery.

Tacheles the super cool artist gallery/ squat spot which was full of amazing art.

Ada and I popped by a cultural fair thing. We ended up walking by this super fun band, Orchestre Miniature in the Park, for short OMP. They only sing songs that have to do with the sun. Check out OMP’s soundcloud, my favorite is ‘All Summer Long’ closely followed by ‘Komm Raus Zum Spielen’.

My last day, Ada and I met up at this restaurant Nest. The sandwiches were delicious, but the waitress thought we were idiots.

After yummy food, I rented a bike and we biked to this cool abandoned amusement park, Spreepark. We had to climb through a wire fence (I felt like a badass and have a scar to prove it) Here is a strange Charlie Chaplin-esque bumper car thing. Those things were all over the place in a creepy The Great Dictator way.

There was a full waterpark, filling all East-Berliners needs for Log Flumes.

This was a railroad that went all around the entire park, as well as over this very unclean pond and into a very scary looking tunnel. Wish we could have stayed there longer, but we were found by a guard and he walked us out. In walking us out he ended up showing us most of the park, so there were some positives.

So there it is, my trip to Berlin. If you are considering going to Berlin, do it. I think it is one of the most amazing cities. I also found the blog She Thought Outside the Box very helpful for knowing what flea markets and parks to get at while you’re there.

There is tons of stuff I am forgetting to mention so feel free to comment and say, “Hey Kendra, what about the Ping Pong club?” and I will respond saying, “Yeah it was really cool.” and probably add some more details.


Filed under conversation, humor, photo, photo diary

My Week in Paris

So as some of you know I am in Europe for 3 weeks. Well now I am only in Europe for two weeks. The first week I spent in Paris, visiting my friend Katie. Now I am in Berlin and I feel the need to post photos of Paris so that I can post photos of Berlin. It’s a complicated cyclical process. Here are a few pictures:














And that is a lot of photos. Final conclusion: all of these places are awesome.

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